firsts

Life is made up of firsts… your first breath, your first cry, your first steps, your firsts words… the first kiss, the first time you fall in love. Lately my firsts have all been CI related, the first time my head has been cut open, the first time a magnet stuck to my head, the first time I heard sounds from the CI, the first time I have heard music through it, the first time I possibly… possibly understood a word… the first mapping, that is what I am looking forward to very shortly. I’m not entirely sure what it will entail, but I do know that my volume will get turned up more, which is very exciting for me, I have decided I am ready for more volume. I’m not sure if todays mapping will be what all my mappings will be, or if it will just be like this for a while… so many unknowns, but that helps make life interesting.

I’m sitting in the office waiting for my appointment, I am perpetually early to… just about everything. My appointment doesn’t start for another 20 minutes, but I am here already. After my appointment I am meeting my sister! Earlier today I had the wonderful opportunity to meet a woman who in one week is going to be getting a Cochlear Implant as well, just as I was, she is scared, nervous, and yet excited. Its hard to explain those feelings, knowing that your whole world is about to change, knowing that this may or may not work, knowing that if it does work, you may or may not be able to understand the hearing world around you… knowing that many of the doctors and people you will come in contact with will see you as a broken person, but knowing within your self, that you are not broken.

This meeting with her was a first a well, the first time I was meeting someone who is going through the same journey, the same feelings that I was, the first time I met someone who was so close, yet so far away.

Today will also be the first time hearing my sisters voice, in a very long time. Today will be the first time she will experience being with me since I got my CI turned on. She was with me after surgery, she helped take care of me after I had my head cut open, she was there, she is learning to communicate with me on my level, she is amazing! We aren’t sure what we are going to do yet… she said maybe a movie, but the only captioned movie theater near me (yes, I still need captions, and I still want them as well) has closed down, for at least a little while, so we are having to look for another one. I’m very sad my movie theater closed down for a while, and I hope that it isn’t permanent, and that it opens back up with captions again. The theater was cheap, only $6 or $6.50 a person, and it had captions… most other theaters around 1. do not have captions, and 2. are $10+ a person.

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