what anticipation does to my body

OK… so I have two days left, two days and 4 hours until I am at the hospital… and the anticipation is slowly killing my body. How you may ask… well, when I am anticipating something, or when I am scared or nervous, my body reacts… badly. My body makes me feel sick, my body temperature goes up slightly, I have issues with my bowels, I just have problems all around… I’m also not a very nice person sometimes… and all of this is happening to me.

When I was anticipating something before, I would think I was getting sick… and as soon as the event or thing was  finished, I would feel better. I would get so mad at my parents, because I felt I was missing out on everything… I would get upset and feel sick… but it just happens to me, this is how my body reacts to certain types of stress… 

I will go to sleep two more times before I go to the hospital, and go to sleep there… while I am asleep, I will have my head cut open, my bone drilled into, a well made into my bone, an electrode inserted into the “round window” to my cochleas, they will then sow me up, and test to be sure that my implant is actually working (How I’m not too sure). Then I find myself in recovery… where I will be for about an hour and a half they tell me, until my family can come see me. I’m not 100% sure of what is going to happen after that… except I will be going home some time that night, my sister and my wonderful Fiance will be home with me, helping me, taking care of me. Most things are done at home, laundry is done (but really… when is laundry ever actually DONE)

Laundry is NEVER done…

we went grocery shopping last night, and stocked up on easy to make meals… ones that won’t be that great for me, but that will be easy to make. We have pasta, mac and cheese, and ready to make skillet meals. We also got some hamburger so we can make crockpot chili and other meals in there. The pasta was on sale, so we have a bunch of that…

Kitty litter is also changed, kitty food is purchased, the closet is swept and mopped, the bathroom is swept and mopped, I still need to get some soup and some otter pops, and we need to clean up a little more in the living room… but for the most part, I am ready, I am prepared… but I am also still stressed.

I am working alone today, tomorrow both my coworker and I will be here, then weds to Saturday, he is there alone… part of me is worried what I will find when I show up on Monday… but I trust him… I have to.

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One thought on “what anticipation does to my body

  1. It will be over soon. I’ve had the hole drilled in my head, for a different surgery, so I’m part of the way there…I can tell you, that my doctor said that is the worst part, and it wasn’t that bad. (and I had a bad reaction, so if I can say it wasn’t that bad, that’s great)

    I have been under so much stress because of this upcoming surgery. We expected it to be last month, but the insurance company was so hard to deal with. Finally we had to get my husband’s HR person involved, and she got it straight for us. (funny how the insurance company wasn’t very helpful to the individual, but to the huge company that they serve, they were more than accommodating) So now I finally have a date. July 19th. It was originally set up for the 11th, and I laughed, because you said, maybe we’d have it on the same day…but the surgeon is not going to be in on that date, and the scheduler wasn’t told. (communication gap!!) So now it’s 8 days after yours.

    I’m less stressed now knowing the date. But my body is still recovering from the stress of all that waiting. What a mess! I felt so useless, I couldn’t do anything to help, I can’t talk on the phone….I felt so frustrated that no one was listening…..and I know my audiologist was frustrated too.
    So, over a month later than we expected, I’m finally scheduled. I’m relieved.
    But sure I’ll be stressed out too the closer it gets to the day.

    Sounds like you are very prepared. Try some stress reduction exercises, and take care of you.
    Good luck!
    I can’t wait to read how it goes.

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