When something big is coming up it really isn’t unusual for me to dream about it to try and make sense ok what’s going to happen. So it really isn’t a surprise when I have dreams about surgery or activation and things going horribly wrong… because that’s just what my brain does. It shows me the worst case senario… that way I can work through my head and my feelings. This is something I have learned over my way through this thing we call life. Most of my dreams are silent with everyone signing in them… but the one dream I remember from last night was different.
This dream was not about surgery or activation… this dream was about my future. I think my head finally decided it was time to give me a break… and show me what my life would be in a positive way. There was speach in my dreams… and it was not perfect… I understand most of it. There was also still ASL I think my head was trying to remind me my friends in the deaf community will still love me and be there.
In my dream I was explaining this thing called he had his shadow effect which I have read about. I have no idea if my brain explain that right to me… but my brain says that’s when someone is on my left hand side (my ci will be the right side) things will sound garbled… and that is why in my dream I was preparing for a second CI.
My dreams were not scared… as I am right now… but my dreams were oddly optimistic. With 5 days and 5 hours before i have to be at the hospital preparing for someone to cut into my head… I am so thankful for dream that reassure me rather than show me the worst possible outcome.