I am Deaf, I am deaf, i am whole and not broken, I am independent, I am loved, and I love. I have a wonderful family, a wonderful partner, and over all, a wonderful life. Does that mean there are things that aren’t fun… not at all. Does it mean there are things I wouldn’t give to change about my life, about my past, about my choices? Yes there are things I would love to change, but that all builds up to me, to who I am, what I have become, and who I am becoming.

I have started this blog to chronicle my “adventures” my day to day life, my thoughts, my feelings, my fears. I journey… I am Deaf, i am Deaf, and I love my life. I am bilaterally profoundly deaf, I have progressive sensorineural hearing loss, and I grew up in the hearing world. In the last few years, my world has changed drastically, and it will continue to change.


8 thoughts on “Creation

  1. I can’t imagine what it is like to be deaf but I wonder if it may be like losing touch with an old friend? You remember them but forget what they look like… You begin to lose what their voice sounded like and at last, their voice is replaced with your perception of it… Thank you for this post and I am quite interested in your future posts 🙂 . All the best.

    • I was born HoH (Hard of Hearing) but I’ve been able to hear for most of my life with Hearing Aids… but now the sound is ending. I am so very lucky that I can still communicate with the world around me, because I have found ASL (American Sign Language), and it has opened my heart and my mind to things I never thought were possible, the ease of communication is amazing. I live in the Deaf world mostly now… but there are aspects of the hearing world that I do miss… music is very much one of them. I can feel the music, but I can not make out a single piece of it, I do not know if something is actually playing… or if it is just the noise of the world around me… This I do not know… there are songs that I remember, but it is like a haze has fallen over them… if i watch a music video, have the lyrics infront of me, and feel the vibration coming out of my computer, than I can sort of remember what it sounded like… but it is nowhere near clear…

      • Wow… Just absolutely fascinating… So it is kind of like diving underwater and hearing only random taps and movement… You know something is there but you can’t pinpoint exactly what it is?

      • Really I’m not sure… as I have never had normal hearing, or been able to hear underwater… I’m not even sure if the link I’m going to give you makes any sense… or if it is actually a real indication of what hearing loss sounds like… and it doesn’t even come close to my level of deafness, it only goes to moderate. But with my hearing aids, I can hear… to about 80 DB (which is still above standard speech). the link to the site is
        You can also see where different parts of speech and different sounds are using whats called the speech banana. speech banana

  2. I am missing parts of the speech banana. My new hearing aid (I only have one partly functional ear) has changed the frequency and put it into a signal area I still have. So suddenly I have much improved hearing. But that’s only for awhile. The hairs in my right ear are dying and the reality is that sooner or later I will be more than moderately to severely impaired and slip into profoundly hearing impaired. Which is why the freaking train whistle like to shot me through the computer the other day – I virtually never hear anything like that.

    • Yeah, even with my aids, I am missing the whole speech banana. What does your hearing look like right now? You have a progressive loss too then?

      • Oh, wow, lost the whole thing, huh? I have some of the areas left – sort of in the dead center. I do better with men’s voices than women, but really low male voices are non-existent for me. My initial loss was from a blow to the head at age 18 months. It crushed the inner ear and broke the nerve on the left side and apparently stretched the nerve on the right. As a teen I developed severe bilateral Meniere’s.

        My bad ear is much like yours. I’m told if I stood 20 feet from a fire engine I could not hear the siren, but I could feel it. Like you, I am sensitive to vibrations. I have lost tea kettles and bullfrogs. Since I have Meniere’s I’ve got all the low loss from that. I also have high tinnitus in the “good” ear and low tinnitus in the “dead” ear. So in the ear I can’t hear in I get deep roaring and rushing – go figure. I try to avoid noisy environments which can set it off and I also avoid aspirin. Because of the Meneiere’s I have an incredible startle response to any loud noise that gets through. That’s because a very abrupt, loud noise gets past the noise suppression of the hearing aid and it causes a pain reaction.

        When I was 18 I was told I’d probably be totally deaf by age 50. I’m going to be 63 this summer and I can still cope – more or less – in individual communications. Groups – court, etc. Eh, not so much.

        No one really understands why my hearing is decreasing, except the Meniere’s does attack the hairs in the ears. It may be that the nerve on the right is slowly dying due to the fact it has been stretched almost to the breaking point almost all my life.

        The good news – not genetic. My daughter and her kids are fine.

  3. I found my audiogram from about a year ago – the bad ear (left) is pretty much like yours. My right starts dropping of 250 cycles at 25 db and goes on a downward arc to bottom out at 4k at 70 db then finishes up at 60 db at 8K. My audiologist said I am missing top of the banana and the middle was muddy. The new aid has change those frequencies into ones I can hear so I’m hearing things I never heard before. I’ve dropped some since then, but not a whole lot. The weird thing is that I now hear birds. And I also hear the car motor, which I never did before. At first it freaked me out and I thought the car was falling apart. I have no idea what comes next regarding hearing. My left ear has a destroyed inner ear so I don’t think it could be used for a CI and no doctor would sacrifice my right ear for a CI with the residual hearing I still have.

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