Failure is not an option… but it happens

I cant stand failure, its something that I just do not accept. Unfortunately it is something that occasionally happens to the best of us, in the best of circumstances, at the worst of times.The good news… for the most part things are going well, and my Cochlear implants have a .6% failure rate at 24 months, with one being 10 months old, the other being 15 months. The bad news, I’m included in that .6%.

My left cochlear implant, is not functional… it stopped working properly at the end of August, I had it off because my left ear was hurting, and I was driving. When I put it back on, all I head was static… thinking I was tired, I went to sleep… in the morning it didn’t sound right, things just sounded off, more robotic than normal… so I put my backup process or… I heard the same thing, still the robots, still sounded off. Things started getting worse and worse, to the point that every time I put it on, not only did I hear static, but it also… hurt.

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A week later I went in for an audiology appointment, and we determined that 10 electrodes were the ones causing pain, and I had heard a few actual beeps along the way, but not much. When we turned the remaining 12 electrodes on… I could finally hear a voice… but I still heard the static, and just like with a hearing aid… when she turned up the volume, it didn’t turn up the clarity.

A week later I had to go back for an Integrity test, as the audiologist from cochlear wasn’t available for the previous weeks test. I was freaking out at this point… because we were fairly sure my implant was failing, and this test would confirm it… I had also… never met the surgeon that works with my new center. The integrity test showed some issues, and it does look like it is going to have to be replaced… After that appointment, I met the new surgeon I will be working with, he is very nice, short and seems to know what he is doing. Now we are just waiting on insurance… not sure how long it will take, but what I have learned from this in the past… call insurance and piss them off until they just say ok to make me stop… so I’m calling them on Monday.

So even though failure isn’t an option… it happens sometimes. And although it means I’m going to have to have surgery… again… and that just makes me mad. I have come to accept it, I have come to accept the idea that I’m going to have surgery again, and that it is something I can’t change if I want to be able to “hear” again from my left side.

The being unilateral again for the last almost month, has been hard. I hadn’t understood how much the left was helping me understand speech, but it was. It was helping quite a bit in noise too… and this… this just isn’t fun, and it is extremely frustrating.

The only good thing that is coming out of this painful situation is the n6. I will be getting the n6 with the surgery, or that is what they tell me, and the audiologist from Cochlear agreed. Now the question becomes, what accessories do I get… and how many times do I have to call and annoy insurance before they stop being stupid and just tell me to have the darn surgery?

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8 thoughts on “Failure is not an option… but it happens

  1. Wow. You are being remarkably good about this. I’m not sure that I would handle it so well. I wish you the best of luck!

    • There is a reason it has taken me 3 weeks to write this… And I… Held back a lot. Tired
      Typed it on the iPad so I really couldn’t take the time I wanted to… Because otherwise it would look like this **** that **** with **** ******** **** *** doctor

  2. So your cochlear implant is only 2 years old? I have had my right internal one for 10 years now and it still works. The left internal for only 5 years or so. There are some a few electrodes that don’t work in the right one, but it still works excellent for me

  3. Oh. I was trying to understand the first paragraph. I can’t get the N6 for another couple years, but I personally know several people who already got the N6.

  4. Pingback: Adventures of a Deaf Adult | Activation… Hopefully for the last time

  5. Pingback: Adventures of a Deaf Adult | How the time passes, a new year

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